I was very averse to starting meds last year. I was on the med train for most of my adolescence and did not like where it took me. I tried almost all of them that were available at the time and nothing worked even a little bit (unless you count depakite making me completely apathetic to life). I was scared to start again but I felt I was out of options since the episodes were taking over my life. I tried abilify first (seems to be the new go-to drug) and had the same problem as you - stuck in an abject depression. It took some tinkering (and by tinkering I mean total mood hell) but I have found success with Trileptal as a constant and Seroquel as needed in severe episodes.

What I can recommend is that you research other ways to help your mood besides just meds. Things like DBT, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and supplements can all help, along with therapy. There are a few regulars here who live med free by using these things. The decision to go the med route is totally up to you. I've found that it's been helpful for me and others have found the opposite. You won't know until you try.

No one can recommend a med to take since everyone will react differently. Just try some and see what happens. Do research about long and short term effects before you agree to take it. Ultimately you will figure out what's best for you.

I hope your journey is an "easy" one :-) we're all here to help you along the way.