My bipolar rapid cycling 4-5x a day lasted over 20 years I've been bipolar fir 40+ years. An intervention of meds hospitals and shock treatment brought me out of my severe depression. I raged against my small children even to the point of almost strangling her but realized at that moment I couldn't do that and walked...ran away. My rages and depression seems the same as yours but I was a basket case along with past molestation at a very young age. The anger lasted over 20 years until my mom died and I stood on my grandfathers grave and orayed to God please forgive him for he knew not what he did. The shackles of guilt and anger fell at my feet and I felt free. Since that time I've had 15 years of stability with the ocassional manic or deoression episides. I saw things in the beginning as real as you are. I've been on meds for 40+ yrs. But the last 5 months I feel the hypomania and depression coming out. I know now how to identify symptoms and take action before it gets too bad. I was declared disabled by mental disease but have been so good for 15 years that I was able to work at my husbands business watch my gkids and become a better person. I don't take my bipolar lightly. I've ruined many relationships over the early years but unable then to stop myself. I've been hospitaluzed weeks and months at several times and twice spent a full year at different hospitals. You're s rare one please bee thankful for what you don't have. Too many points point to bipolar in my book. Be safe...be strong

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