I guess it would depend on what you want. Do you think couples therapy would really help you and your h? Do you want to get the connection back? Is your h trying to get the connection back? What woould you do with the information if he did come clean about his affair? Would his admitting it make it easier for you? I guess these are some of the questions you have to ask yourself. I have asked myself these questions. My w is not a warm and caring person and I am in a similar situation. I believe my w had an affair, I am not sure how I would react if she were to tell me the truth. I find it to be VERY frustrating and confusing!