Kirk, I wanted to tell you that the grief you are experiencing is perfectly normal and okay to feel.

You don't need to beat yourself for feeling that way. I know that feeling....the heart wrenching pain that sometimes has you moaning instead of crying because you feel like someone has ripped your heart out of your chest.

It is SO painful...but you will come through the other side if you take it day by day. I found solace in a new therapist, even though I said I would never go and see someone else.

Even if it's just a therapist to help you through your grief, I think it would definitely be worth a shot. In the very least, you will have someone who can provide you with a bit of support and understanding until you can get back on your feet emotionally.