i am not going to BS you with lovely flowers and scents. I am here keeping it real you are going through a crappy time in your life I can only say I have been there and it wasn't a cake walk neither. But for you its only going to be how you feel, see, and a permanent fixture of how you feel all about it all as a memory to view at a later date. You choose which emotion you are willing to feel, how you feel and where you feel it.

my advice is do what you recommend to another...so i take one day at a time nothing to far ahead and nothing like a goal that makes you tail out like on a plane. Simply forgive yourself it might help with anger and the depressive thoughts you been having. its okay to feel the way your feeling no one can take that away from you. You simply need to ride out the storm before another one comes in to disrupt you even more. waiting for the good days is like waiting for your milk to go bad...gotta seize that time when for a glimpse of happiness comes your hold on for long as possible.