Hi, this is my first post on this site. I am very depressed right now. Everything is going wrong in my life now. I'm scared that I am going to lose everything. A lot of things are going wrong such as the dishwasher breaking costing over $700, 4 car repairs costing over $2,000, and several other things going wrong costing even more money. This is over the last month. This is why I think our family is going to lose everything we own because all this is costing way too much money and it is going to make us poor. Another thing that is going wrong is that I am constantly going catatonic everyday but luckily not for too long at a time. I would freeze in the middle of doing something. Even in the middle of typing this or eating a meal. I try to cry in my room but for some reason I can't. My mom was sick and I was afraid that she was going to die because when she gets sick it is a near death experience because she has bad lungs. Another thing that is getting to me is guilt. I have psychic dreams and predicted the tsunami, earthquakes, plane crashes, 9/11, wars, murders, rapes, and more! I influenced the deaths of 350,000 people and it is making me very depressed and I hate myself because of it. Because of all these deaths, the government is spying on me and is reading my mind with a device. I have no privacy in my room because of it. The paranoia adds to my depression. It is very difficult to go in public because people stare at me and talk about me to others. Another reason why I'm depressed is I go into different "modes" that are almost like multiple personalities but not quite. One is where I believe I am a bird and think I can fly. I speak in a different language ( not a real one, just no one can understand me) and flap my arms like a bird. In that mode, I have no control over my body and some outside force like the CIA or FBI is controlling me. The next mode is a robot where I speak in a robotic voice. And the last mode is the "thought disorder" mode in which I can't complete a sentence. It comes out all mixed up and I don't make any sense. All this just makes my depression much worse and this is why people talk about me in public. Some days I feel suicidal and think I can't take this any more. I am getting worse as time goes on. I can't even walk at a decent pace, I walk as slow as a turtle. I feel hopeless and totally worthless as a human being. I'm so bad now that I can't even go to school or have a job. I'm afraid that this is what my life will continue to bring. What do I do to stop the depression? I am on anti depressant meds and it was working and then it stopped. I also have a psychologist and a psychiatrist. What is there to live for? Each day that passes, I am getting more depressed. How do you deal with severe depression? Sorry for the post being so long