Yes I didn't choose my therapist who I just saw last night because she is sexually attractive. I've not seen her till yesterday. I've worked with her at 14 and still was physically attracted to her, but I find this extremely helpful because it's the make it or break it to face my fear of sexuality and a fallacy of a sex negative culture where both men and women alike are being treated like crap like bad children being punished. I am reading more and more everyday bout asexuality and sex positive people and sex negative. This is so true, because I truly don't hate the women who doesn't want it hey it's her choice respect it. What I can't stand is when some mostly men, but there are way more times females younger females have done this lead a guy to see how he reacts then toss him like trash even if he is a good dude and the kicker is that she will never tell him and leave him begging for more. Like do I think that's respectful no not at all. I find it just as horrible when men beat women for being experimental with another dude. Like seriously this has gotten out of hand. I don't want to tell my therapist, but I have to to face my true fears. I go through persecution from this before silently. I take so many physical and true emotional scares. I am phyiscally ill now, and I don't want the sex anymore. I truly want to marry a woman who is a friend not some girl I just banged a week ago. I have a girl I truly love and care for tell her everything been friends with her for over 6 months now. I don't believe in marriage, because this society my parents things I've been exposed to for far to long made me lose hope in this concept. I am not closed to it entirely, but not open to it either based on stupid things. Like relationships take a lot of work and effort, the problem is the real work is the self responsibility. like knowing when to take care of your physical and emotional well being for the woman or man, like people think men and women are from two different planets. Is ******** lie made by men who are sexist to make women distant and finding true love, yes they think differently now, because of exposure and their life how they grew up they can't handle that. Same with women too, I've seen everything to know enough. That people need to stop being so ****** to others. You know when a guy comes up to me and talks to me that woman is a bad person she's not christian quality and she is screwing so many dudes and stuff, I'm like why do you care. What's in it for you something to get mad over and drink bout it later. Like seriously I knew this as a freaking toddler. I just had terrible things happen to me, but when I needed safety and could provide, because my parents are too ignorant to see my abuse and pain. I get damaged and internalize and push everyone away male and female, because I don't want them to go through the curse I go through. Sexual addiction is real, in the sense of people damaging self and others over it. I have it for myself and very abusive to self, I hate having these fantasies. I don't want to feel like an animal, but this sex negative pro "true love disney crap" that is being spread around like it will happen like this and you will be like this and everything will be hunky dorry no. Like relationships were never like that, I watched the best woman in the world my grandmother who actually was a proud motherly figure in my life. I would have her as my role model and still do in my heart that woman treated everyone with respect even her son my uncle who is openly gay. I love him, so much I grew up seeing the person not the queerness. That's why I internalize and get suicidal because when I did open up bout my poly feelings and life. I am told I am a man *****, I need men to balance it out. It won't work, you need to be gay to have it work. Like it's so innacurate of me. I've honestly never met people who are this understanding of culture and sub culture on a level I have. The sexuality brings out the ugliness in people and the best, but I always say the only thing that christianity got right in relationships is that the marriage isn't in the sex but the person in each other. I truly want and desire that, just too many stupid girls who need to grow up take care of themselves and say I am beautiful and really be really cool. That's how you real the guys in good and bad, but the trick is don't fall for the guy you know would be a fun night, but a lot of heartache. I know this lesson too well. Men and women are people they aren't two different species, they are human one has a penis and the other a vagina simple as that. I am only twenty didn't even go to any college and could figure that out instantly. It only takes a small amount of exposure to show something people need to hear not what they want.