Background... I have depression, suicidal thoughts and am into self harm (cutting). I also have anxiety issues.....

One of my shrinks told me yesterday that I need to start being more social at work. I have no real friends and I FEAR talking to people (even people I know). The casual "hi" as you walk down a work place corridor can freak me out to the point the word can not even come out.... I stare at the floor.

Well, she told me that my homework this week is to walk around more and be more social. I am FREAKING out just thinking about it.

i just want to ****ing die. i can not take all this **** anymore. my brain is just too damaged and besides NOBODY likes me (who actually knows me)......... I know I wont have the balls to "end myself", but I sure as hell can do some nice cutting and reduce some of this bull____ stress.