nothing new. depression. My T said (again I think lately) that my depression um depth ? is lasting a long time this time... well those aren't his words i can't remember his words...

but I sware he said that a few weeks ago... and I don't remember any break in this dark swirling mass of depression...

things are too much. I know, generalities aren't acceptable.

usually when I'm this low I just do what I can and the rest slide, and they go away... but so many things can't slide this time... and they have time limits short ones

and I just can't seem to get it together. Sometimes Isit and stare at the paperwork on some issues... it doesn't click.

If I'm dead it won't matter.

Pain adds to my problem.
PTSD does too... I'm anxious about maybe a new md appt coming up...so my T asked a simple question: what part of mybody hurts the most.. and Ifroze in answer! with my T! I think he got the point that my brain just doesn't work in stress times... then add the depression

I give up. Please. someone give me permission to just give up.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>