I know this is painful, especially to experience over and over again. I don't understand, however, why so many people seem to think therapy is about having needs met uncritically. It always seemed to me that my job as a client was to be honest about who I was, which meant I brought my needs into the relationship, experienced them and eventually, with my T's help, examined them. It wasn't necessarily to have them met, nor circumstances controlled in such a way as to avoid triggering them. In experiencing them and analyzing them, and my T initially supporting me by meeting them but not often in the ways I envisioned, I both came to understand them as well as to grow such that the needs became less prominent, less a driving force.

The moments in which needs arise and are experienced painfully are exactly the moments that provide the opportunity to not simply repeat the past silently, but to work through them with your T. It sounds like your T knows this. Otherwise, you don't heal.