I work, always have except when having my kids. It's not an indicator of bp or not whether you're able to hold a job. Many aren't able to & that's very understandable. But even the bp description on this site says many go long periods without an episode and a lot of people don't even get the dx, or get it later in life. Sounds to me like you do fit the bp. And when I'm manic I can get so agitated & have rage issues, screaming even tantrum crying on the floor. And when in depression small things can set me off into rage or crying spells where I can barely breathe. Some say rage is not part of bp, but for some of us it is a big issue. I think therapy helps a lot. A plan for when you start to go "there" & the blood starts boiling, maybe go on a run, do a hundred jumping jacks, or hit a punching bag. I have a junk yard area outside where I can break dishes or chairs or anything ok-ish to break. Sometimes I rage yell at my kids when something sets me off. I've learned to go in my room and yell, come back when calmed down to apologize, no excuses just tell them it is not their fault and how I behaved was not ok.
Sounds like the relationship is really stressing you out, not good for your health. IMHO time to end it. But not rashly, take the time to really decide what you want to do there. Think long term. Is this just not the right time or right person for a relationship right now or is it something you think could be worked at & get better? You can't keep supporting her out of guilt and if it's detrimental to your health. If you choose to end it, you could give 30 days to find somewhere / someone else to live off of. In the meantime , when you're at a calm headspace , let her know that when you give the signal , she needs to go in another room or give your space to work out what you're going through. So it's like a game plan to deal to avoid hurt feelings,etc. until you figure out how to control it better. Some ideas, take any that might sound helpful & throw out the rest. Take care.