Hi rob, you're right, it isn't normal and it sounds like you've been going through a really hard time and three years is a long time to have been coping with this. Just make sure you're prepared for Thursday and tell your psychiatrist everything that's going on for you (don't hold back!).
For now just try to push yourself as far as you can, even if that just involves getting up in the morning. But if you CAN'T, then you CAN'T and try not to feel too bad about it/about something you CAN'T do. It's not that you aren't trying, it's not that you don't want to try, depression (like you're struggling with) can be SO consuming/overwhelming. So even doing the smallest things you should give yourself REAL credit for,
But you are going exactly the right route in getting help with it, in working to overcome this.
And remember, we're here for you whenever you want to talk or some support!
Alison