This is too confusing to explain, I'm going to bother with any more explanation, it's gender issues and my fear of being abusive, but ironically I get abused more than everyone else not in domestic relationships. I mean in general. I don't feel safe, telling my feelings. I don't want this crap anymore being told I am nothing, and feel guilty that other people have it worse. I get it, I know it, but seriously trying to pin my head in the ground to make a point is worth me hurting and abusing myself more. I try so hard, no one sees my good. They just want to cut me down asap when I say one thing they don't like. Seriously I don't do that to you, don't do that to me.