Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueInanna
Try not to be so hard on yourself, or think that you hurt her. She did respond kindly and clearly, so at least you got a response. No response is much worse 
Everyone has probably done the text in time of weakness or drunk dialing  it happens.
Moving on is really hard, especially sensitive people like us. But you could look at it as new information. Reconciliation is not going to happen. So if you're out of denial stage, do the mourning stage, then it can only get better from there.
I look back on the handful of men I loved & thought we'd be together for ever. Even though the ending hurt so bad, and it's hard no matter who chose the ending, we always seem to fall in love again. And the new love is even stronger than the last. Do the mourning you need to process it all, but look forward too, you still have the future ahead of you. 
Keep at those hobbies & distractions & you'll get there. |
Thank you for your response. I think you're totally right about looking forward. I thought I was already doing that and I'm not sure what happened but all of a sudden I just started looking back. I haven't been able to shake that since.
I also really feel what you said about having thought that you had found the one, and then losing them, and then finding someone that's even better. I'm familiar with that experience. I can't fathom it now but it's nice to have evidence for that truth at least.
She actually called me tonight because now she's very worried that I'm going to do something I shouldn't, she knows I have a history with self injury and with alcohol/drugs. I don't like that I made her worried but I can't lie, it really helped me to know that she cares about me. And at the same time it feels really messed up, I got her attention, that's what I wanted, it helped, but now she's suffering too. And that leaves me not even sure anymore... about... what is happening. I'm really happy that she cares for me but it's come at the price that she is distressed for my mental health, and somehow that doesn't even make me feel awful if i'm being honest, at least right now. I'm very confused as to why I don't feel awful. Does that make me a total jerk? Should I try to feel worse again?