I'm from a working class family. Almost the working poor, but not quite. But low enough that I qualified for the maximum amount of student aid.

A private school? Medication? Therapy?

That is where your parent's money is going. It is already going to you.

My parents couldn't even afford to take my cat to the vet when I was 11.. she'd been missing for two weeks, and when she miraculously came home.. you could see the bone sticking out of her leg. Fortunately it had been a clean break. and somehow it healed... but 11 year old me had to watch and hope that my cat wouldn't die. Thank goodness she did - I'd already had depression and being suicidal arrive in my life and I probably would not have been able to handle it!

It's hard to make adjustments. Change is tough, and stressful. But remind yourself of where your parents money is already going - directly to you!

It doesn't sound like there are many options for your family. You could, like they suggest, start looking for a job. You could quit the swim team to help save a bit of money. You could also try going to a public school - they aren't all as horrendous as some people who've never gone to them make them out to be. And it would alleviate the pressure to fit in with your peers whom you don't feel you fit in with. And that would save a ton of money, even if you are getting by with some scholarships. Would it add a new kind of stress? Sure. You'd be in a new school. But would the extra money at home help out or is staying in that school more worthwhile?

Really, there are quite a few options. They're just scary. Your parents have already made their decisions - that they'll tighten things up in all the ways they can... but they're still paying for your therapy, and they still paid for your time in residential (even though you had a horrendous time with that), and they pay for your medication, and your education, and they still pay for your swimming, and I bet that they plan to pay for your post-secondary education as well.

Your parents' financial issues are your issues - they could save themselves loads of money except that they are trying to maintain the lifestyle you're used to. My parents made, at their high point, about $40,000 a year. Combined. And that was at a time when USA dollars were about 1.5x more than Canadian dollars.

And you aren't really a child. You're 17. Legally still a minor, and you're still THEIR child. But you are more than old enough to be able to understand finances and to be able to help with making cutbacks to save those.

It also doesn't sound like they're burdening you at all - they've just been making it clear that they can't afford all the things that you're wanting, even if they're things that you've always been used to. They're just being honest with WHY they're saying no to you. And asking you to start looking for a job is totally reasonable especially when they've just asked you to start paying for your own hobbies and interests.

Like I get it's stressful... but you need to try looking at it through differet perspectives, as that will help you. And I don't even mean looking at it through the perspective of someone who's lived a less financially stable life (although that could sure help too). I just mean to look at it through your parent's perspective. Look at where they've put their priorities - all on you! You're asking for more than they can give you, and you aren't helping give to yourself. Where else does their money go?