I'm tired of being expected as a dude to do so much. I get it, I ****ing get it doesn't mean you have to beat me up to be strong. Seriously, I'm done with bashing and stupid things I put up with as a dude. I don't want this life, I don't want this body, I don't want any of this. I hate having to settle that if I say one word that comes off sexist I'm beaten to the ground as dirt. I never hit women, I want to be one, ****, because they are so beautiful. I want what they got, the friends the life the body all of it. I can't take it, I am attractive male, but I hate being this. I hate these expectations I hate it all these double standards this gender ********. The stuff people believe from this is making me suicidal, because I was raped horribly by both men and women. Seriously do I even care bout this inequality crap anymore. No because it's missed the whole point all together and men like me who are severely abused are forced to shove everything, because I hate always being told by every female you gotta be this that or all this or you are nothing to anyone. Like this is ********, I don't want this. I just want love and a true friend not this ****. I don't want to have my wife apparently or if I was a woman my partner as a resume filing out for like a job. That's so stupid, I don't deserve this caddy retarded life. My vocab is not doing well now, because I don't care. I need to tell people this abuse has gone long enough. Nothing is helping even with therapy.