Did your dr prescribe anything to address the depression you are feeling? I get the feeling you were scolded (or you feel that way) but its obvious you are really down right now and certainly didnt need to hear any negativity. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. Betrayal and loss are very deep wounds. What I can almost be certain of though is that your boys feel this too. You need to do whatever it takes to fight this illness. For yourself and for your boys. She left them, you are hanging on for them. Show her that you ARE better than her. I strongly suggest therapy if you dont already go. Some of the VA hospitals are offering nami connections support groups (free) or look for a regular nami group in your area (also free), you might find that helpful. Read everything you can on bipolar and those things that help with symptoms. All those things people do to stay healthy, sleep, eat, exercise, etc are 100% more important for us.
I hope this helps some, sending you (((really big)))