I always give handmade cards. After four and a half years I also gave something on T's birthday, also handmade. She came close to turning it down. She said she'd think about it and talk about it with her supervisor. It was really tough on me because it was something that was very symbolic and strongly related to my therapy with her and where we were at at that time. The nicest thing about her nearly turning it down was her explanation. She said she was worried that it would make the relationship more unequal as she would feel she wasn't able to reciprocate.

But she still doesn't care about me in the way that I care about her and sometimes that's really tough.