And at the same time it feels really messed up, I got her attention, that's what I wanted, it helped, but now she's suffering too. And that leaves me not even sure anymore... about... what is happening. I'm really happy that she cares for me but it's come at the price that she is distressed for my mental health, and somehow that doesn't even make me feel awful if i'm being honest, at least right now. I'm very confused as to why I don't feel awful. Does that make me a total jerk? Should I try to feel worse again?