You are doing great just by posting this, I am in a similar position, I never talked about it for over 10 years, my T is also a guy, he is great, it wasn't easy to talk about it but he has been amazing about it. we havnt been talking about it for very long, the 1 time was 2 weeks ago, he did everything he could to make me feel comfortable, and we discussed the gender issue, that he was a guy and we were talking about it. he brought up that talking to a man about it may also help make it easier to be able to have healthy relationships with men in the future. maybe try just telling him that it happened, tell him that discussing it with him is something you want to work on because of the issue of gender. he will understand as mine did. good luck