They think their SHOWING UP = caring about us. But as it occurred to me in sweepys thread this morning, for me, showing up does not equal caring. It equalled lying and pinching. Soooo - maybe thats why my friends go yuck when i say my t hugs me - cuz for me it bounces off; for them, a hug would get absorbed (as discussed in growli's thread). So you are seeing everything as love/caring? That reminds me of my first year with my current t, when i kept asking him if he was in love with me, cuz i thought he was acting like he was. Not because he was hugging me, but because he wasnt pinching me? He was actually looking at me like he liked me, and i took that as love. A drop of water to a thirsty man. Is this about safety to you? Some kind of psychic safety? Cuz therapy is supposed to be a safe place. Im having a hard time utilizing that space, so i wonder if its a new concept to you ie being really safe. P.s. i really appreciate your posts. They make me think / help me think!