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pinksoil
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Default Feb 22, 2007 at 03:12 PM
 
The problem with me is that I don't think of the consequences. When I want to SI, I just do. I don't stop beforehand and say, "Wait a second-- this is going to leave a scar, and I'm going to feel really upset about about that later on." The thought of scarring doesn't even enter my mind. I just do it. Now, looking at my arm and leg, I have a whole bunch of scars and marks from some SI stuff that went on in the past 6 weeks or so. Now that I'm looking at it and I'm in a different frame of mind, I get upset... Why did I ruin my body this way? But I'm telling you, next time I want to SI, I'll just do it, and not even think about the consequences that way. I remember last summer I was in the store and went into the dressing room to try on a tank top or something. The lights were really bright, I think they were flourescent lights. It made the marks I had stand out so much and I was so upset at what I had done to my body. But did that make me even want to stop? No.

Also, to further what I had originally brought up-- when I resarch SI online, it's always about teens. I never find any good sources on adults who SI. I feel like a child sometimes. Not just for that, but for many other reasons as well.
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