I felt the same way last year. Definitely didn't want to start meds again but I would have lost my job either way, since both ends of the spectrum were totally out of hand. I had bad reactions to celexa, abilify, and Prozac - they sent me into a mixed state (except the abilify, that just left me in a desperate depression). It can take awhile to find meds that work. I was extremely lucky and found trileptal after just six months - but I also tried dozens of meds when I was 19 so I was knew that those didn't work. Really narrowed down the pool.

If you feel like things were unmanageAble without them, then try to stay on the ride for a little while. Being patient is hard when you're in so much distress but it's unfortunately a requirement for us.

As for the tegretol the drowsiness might wear off but if you've seen a significant negative change in your mood I would say it's probably not goig to be good for you. Especially if you're on a really low dose.