One day at a time. Sometimes its one hour at a time. If your lawyer sucks try to get another one who will fight for you. You hate him but you love him I know. Think of how he's doin you dirty when you feel mushy. He has to be paying child support and if not march down to the courthouse and file. Today. If he took that money out he forged your name. Do not settle into victim mentality. That will paralyze you. Get ugly with him. You don't want some one back who is capable of what you described. It's habit talking.