Quote:
Originally Posted by bpdtransformation
Screwedup,
Did not know that some jobs will discriminate based on BPD. That is terrible... they should not be allowed to do that. It would be tempting to do the same thing as you are doing, to ask the psychiatrist not to use that label. Do you mind if I ask, is this in the United States? I thought it was illegal here for companies to ask for your medical records. Given that the BPD diagnosis is itself unreliable and really invalid as a medical disorder (i.e. different therapists often diagnose the same patient differently), it doesn't even make sense to restrict someone from work based on such diagnosis.
I'm not advocating this, but it may be possible for you to use another, less stigmatized diagnosis (like "depression") to get another form of useful treatment, and then retain the ability to do teaching sooner, if what you fear is right. I will admit I did this in my later years of therapy. I stopped being diagnosed as borderline (which I actually was not, in terms of the 9 symptoms, by that point) and instead asked my therapist to use another diagnostic term which she did.... "dysthymic disorder".... whatever that means  It was funny because I was feeling well most of the time but I was officially labeled with this disorder that means you are really depressed.
IDoNotExist,
Your theoretical point make sense - if one is doing well one is doing well. However, this has not been my experience. Today, I am very rarely extremely angry and rageful in the way I used to be. Really, I am only angry when there is a realistic reason to be - when someone does something really bad to really p--- me, which any normal person would be angry at. So I have become much more "normal", and I know from my therapy that my tendency to easily get enraged in past years was related to my father, who physically abused me for many years with beatings. I was so angry about this that it often came out inappropriately toward other people. But once I worked it through and felt more loved and supported by other people, my psychological functioning gradually became pretty normal. So, there was never anything biologically wrong with my brain, as I experienced it - my excessive aggression was related to my experience in the environment and to the internalized object relations that I carried with me based on that experience.
I have also read extensively about object relations theory, particularly Kernberg, Kohut, Masterson, Adler, etc, and their theories of BPD make much more sense to me than the modern reductionist-biological view. But perhaps you are still right that it doesn't matter what one believes, or what the cause of one's problem is, as long as one gets to a better place in the end. |
I'm not really that well-versed in psych theory, as I only got into this about a few years ago and took 2-3 courses in college.
I only read it from the BPD perspective/pathology perspective.
I'll use my own experience:
I actually fly under a lot of people's radars for BPD now. In fact, I told a therapist team at a temp residential that I had it, and they said "NO WAY, you see her? THAT's a borderline"
The only difference between "her" and I was that I was very internal. I could sit and brood, think about slitting my throat, yelling at someone but it'd look very passive. With her, she did that externally.
Do I not have the disorder? I definitely do; it's just more controlled. I acted that way in my teens, most likely because, as I even notice now, if I have a bipolar mixed/manic episode, I lose that ability to control it almost completely and it becomes about 6-10x stronger
. I can even look like a psychopath temporarily if perturbed in these states, which can be jarring to those who know me. To give you an example, a nurse thought I was the impulsive "life of the party" with a mean streak until a month when I calmed down. I am nowhere near those (I'm a shy nerd with passable social skills that gets told he speaks too softly 90% of the time), though I can be an arrogant prick naturally if perturbed (it never goes beyond snide, subdued, passive-agressive criticism that can appear innocuous)
I didn't really explain that well. As far as I understand, the causation is not clear. Do the fragmented object relations cause reversible brain changes, or do natural brain inclinations lead to fragmented object relations?
It wasn't reductionist; it plainly said that it could be either or. I'll post a link when I wake up, as I have to go through and find it (reinstalled my OS/wiped everything).
I don't want to sound discouraging, but when I asked my psych (who specialized at a Uni in Pdisorders/Eating disorders), she plainly told me that some of the internal thoughts I have (wanting to hurt myself) may indeed last for the rest of my life.
Mind you, however, I also have Bipolar I and some type of anxiety disorder NOS, so this may not be the case.
My point, I believe, still stands:
I hung out with the "fast crowd" for awhile. They seemed more impulsive than I was, with no "disorders." Was it that I did not WANT to do those things? No, I just controlled the urge, but it was there and strong.
No one cares how you get to point B, as long as its there. It's like a math problem; there's often tons of ways to do it, even though one is more popular.