I think you are right in that ideally that's what would happen but unfortunately some of what you're saying is just not true. What I mean is that I barely tell people what's going on as it is, and I would say there is more of a risk of self harm now than there ever was in the past 6 months. I have already started drinking again and I have been thinking of hurting myself for the past week. I think this behaviour is why I texted her in the first place, I am out of control and I think it was a cry for help. I have thanked her abundantly for being there but telling her not to worry and that I'll take care of myself would be a lie. And now that she knows what's going on, even if I did tell her I'm taking care of myself, she wouldn't believe it, and rightly so.

I think my best shot at convincing her that I'm doing okay is if I go to some kind of therapy, or a support group, or something. That's what she wants me to do and she told me I don't have a choice actually. She said she is going to be checking up on me. And if I don't do anything for myself she told me she is going to tell my family and friends about what's going on in hopes that it will force something to happen. I also think I owe it to her to try to take care of myself and do something like she wants, but I don't think it's actually going to help. When it comes down to it, even if she tells everyone or if I do something myself, I think I will just have to wait this out as per usual and I will try my best but chances are I will continue on a self destructive path until this passes.