After 5 weeks of being upset with my T, I finally was able to come to terms with everything. So this week I get brave and finally get the courage to verbally ask her for a picture, a letter, and a soft object. Oye! My T, of course, challenges me. She'll give me a version of each of those things, but not exactly what I want. So for an object, she "lends" me her favorite book...

I go home heartbroken. I'm so upset, I send her a very emotional email. I try compromising by writing her some "truths" I've been keeping from her.

I feel better after sending the email. And then I see my T's book... I start reading it... S***!!!

"Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing. It is judicious arguing, struggling, confronting, urging, pushing, and pulling, in addition to comforting."

Would I rather have my T's love or an object? Personally, I want both, but her love is more important.

Now I regret my email, and feel bad that I didn't trust my T more. She cleverly taught me a huge lesson. And it makes me more proud that I didn't stop seeing her when things were difficult.

Lesson for this week: balance is the most important aspect...even if you don't like it at that moment.