there is nothing so complicated as human relationships.

i'd say that it can be healthy that husband and wife do not know everything about one another, but only the important things.

i have no idea what you husband says to his friend, but as long as it works i wouldn't try to open that up, in case it would break.

you might want to let him know that you are there for him and that you'd love to support him in any way, tho stating clearly that abusive behaviors are nor acceptable. never.