I'd say you made the right choice by checking in when you felt suicidal...and if you feel that way again nothing wrong with going back. I've been in the psych ward twice for that reason...and to be honest I am considering whether or not I need to go back again but I also have an upcoming SSI hearing...so kind of don't want to have to do that.

Anyways I hope you can stay safe and hopefully find some kind of relief...maybe you need different meds, a different therapy approach or something....as different things work for different people.