I wish I had words of comfort,,,, the only thing I can offer is that my feelings are very much like yours... the only thing that has truly helped me is posts like yours... for me the absolute isolation has been the worse...

I wish I could even look in a mirror... I've shredded every picture that was ever taken of me... I can remember arguing with my Mom about getting senior pictures... I didn't want them taken because I felt that all the uglness that was on the inside of me would show on the outside in the picture. I know that doesn't sound logical but I really thought that would happen. That was 30 years ago..

I cry with you... perhaps if we cry enough - all the ugly stuff inside will be washed away...

(((hugs))) freewill