My mind, my brain fog is not better, it seems like my thoughts have been taken out. Feeling afraid don't know why, and irritated. Can't find anything that amuses me. Still not understand why others seems so distanct from my point of view. I'm thinking something banal to say to my sister like "tonight is your turn to make dinner" and I can't, than she starts talking to me and I say these things naturally.
I have this thing that makes me imagine the weirdest explanations for my behaviour and other symptoms. How was afraid with the though of having autism today, because I always find myself to be the outsider in big groups, never find the right time to say something. And because I can't imagine other people situations. Not mine either. I guess I'm not, because I have no other symptoms and I used to have friends and want to make them when I was younger. It's just that I always feel that I don't exist and that anybody else exist. I start thinking that I have a neurologic disease, I'm always freaking out by some unkown disease when I feel worst. There was a time 4 years ago that I felt dizzy almost everyday, like I was fall, lose the force in my legs. Then as I sometimes have ortostatic hipotension when I get up and everything gets black I start thinking that I had an heart problem, I have a localized spot pain in my chest. God! I had run to ER so many times because things like this. I spent almost my all life thinking I was going to die in the next day because I was ill. I have seen a neurologist too. If I could I would analize all my hormone levels, my stomach, helicobacter, my liver and so on... I know that this sounds kinda stupid I guess I'm a litle bit hypocondriac.