I'll try and describe it without being too graphic. It's the feeling that I don't belong here, I'm not welcome here, I can't stay alive here, if I don't end it all right away I'll be tortured for being the useless piece of junk that I am.

The pain and the pressure from the real people who are okay and who are alowed to keep living is intense. I need darkness. I need to stop breathing because I'm not allowed to use the oxygen. Oxygen is only for the ones who belong, who are welcome.