Firstly, while it is an overwhealmingly horrible situation and trials you have lived through. the reality, that you have not yet given up, must give you hope.
I think you are immensly strong person to survive and keep trying. Sure the cutting is not ideal, however it is obv to avoid the realities that surround you.
You have to make peace with what happened. it was not your fault. I think thats prob key in moving forward. Not to forget, but for your forgiveness. You cannot change what has happened, you can only change your future from where it is headed.
You have more to give to the world than the current state you find yourself or your future in.

Best of luck, babe. I am here should you want to talk further.