I am angry with a friend who let me down tonight. I just formed a friendship with her a month ago. We got close, and had fun together. We would do brunch and a movie before work. It was fun for me to have an experience with a friend because I really can't seem to hold onto any in my life. On the surface I'm "friends" with everyone. Both at work, and at school. Yet, the truth is- I have no friends. THe friends I made when I moved to this city a few years ago have already fallen away. I am just lonely.

I am feeling very mixed right now too, which only makes everything one-hundred times worse. I gotta go back on my regular dose of medicine. I cut down a few weeks ago, and this is just uncomfortable insanity. I wish there was someone who understood. Or someone to distract me. I have so much on my plate right now that my anxiety level is through the roof. I feel that I have the energy to jump right out of my skin. I need to find a way to calm down, or change this. Maybe a drink...

I feel so up and energetic, yet simultaneously desperately sad and hurt. What to do? I guess I just don't know...