i am crying its hard to see the keubroad this is from a few days ago i sent this to my dad a few im sorry

Mom doesn't love me. She told me.
She spent 2 hours calling me the Devil's seed, telling me why you left, calling me and Elise B****es (Yes, she used that word)
She told me she had "run out of love for me" and couldn't handle us anymore
If we wanted anything, we would have to get it from you.
I told her I had recorded her and "magically" she needed to use my phone
She took it to LA and had some jerk unlock it there. How do I know?
Around the 26th the Lost App said the last known location was Los Angeles.
It read Lancaster and Palmdale zipcodes without difficulty, so why did it say Los Angeles?
I didn't take it there.
I should be amazed you never mentioned it.
And magically its on UPS, going to you.

She continues on her rampages and lies to the doctors
She tells them I like to stay in my room,
she never says why.
She tells them I cry alot,
she never says why.
She tells them I prefer animals to people,
she never says why.
And she knows the reasoning behind it, she just wont tell anyone because CPS may get involved and she can risk loosing her job.
So yes, every "therapeutic" visit was built on lies.
"Why do you like to stay in your room Corinne?" "Your mother tells me you cry in your sleep, why?" "Are animals easier to get along with?'" "Is it hard for you to make friends?" "Your mother tells me you draw really good! Can I see some of the pictures?"

I have 121 friends as of today. Roughly 20 from AVCS, around 30-40 from Pete Knight, and only 14 from Delaware. The others I have met in random places (ie, bus, park, parties, ect.).
Mom has seen and knows of very few of my friends because she has me paranoid on who to bring.
A majority of my friends a) have a warrant, b) are on probation, c) went to Challenger, and/or d) have a parent/relative/know someone on probation.
Mom is always telling me that her job is dangerous, which I respect, but how am I supposed to bring my hood-rat friends to a cop's house?
Tell me, what is the solution there. If they are not supposed to see her, how can she possibly know?
Of course, my AVCS friends would love to hang out. They've invited me several times to the Starlight Extravaganza and Quarter-A-Dip's.
Mom always makes a big deal of not having and money so I don't tell her and we don't go.
What right does she have to judge me?

Oh, did you know I may be getting home visits now? Brilliant boost to my self confidence. A+

She tricks me into leaving the house.
She told me we were going to get groceries,
instead we went to Kaiser.
She's done it on several occasions and I cannot trust her.
That is why I choose to stay at home and only leave with my friends.

Saturday mom told me I could go to the mall with my friend, taking the bus.
But she wasn't going to give me any money.
She said she had already given me 20$... and she did... two weeks ago.

When Hero died she didn't let me know until the next morning, a school day.
Then her all-knowing mind decided the best thing was to describe his body to me.
No, not hugs.
"There was blood coming out of his mouth"
Thanks, that is what I needed to hear.

She tells me drawing is what makes me "unique" and she congratulates me on the most minor of tasks
Its insulting, if I tell her to stop she throws a fit.
a) Jumping up and down (literally!) b) Yelling and crying c) calling me names

The bloody nose joke? About me being a drama-queen?
Sometime last month Elise made her mad for whatever and she left for school
I was doing my chore, cleaning the kitchen, as asked
She storms through the house ranting and raving and yelling at me
She gets in my face multiple times, and my nose begins to bleed
It could have been the medication- oh wait
Aren't I on anti-depressants? IS it possible she stressed me out so much my brain was actually fighting the medication?
Haha wow. Nope. Just me being a drama-queen. Because any human being can tell their nose to bleed on command.

I was informed that she told you I stole her jewelry box.
Because she has never lost anything. Ever.
In the history of my 15 years of living has mom never lost her jewelry box, important documents, her glasses, keys, or even the vacuum.
Recently she did a major sweep of her room and cleaned it. I'm proud of her for cleaning her hoarder's den after months of yelling at us to do the same and pouting when I refused to help her clean her room. I really am
However, stuffing random objects in three large boxes behind the couch maybe, just maybe, she lost something?
Counting the three large boxes, papers filling the couch, and one wall of stuff that hasn't been looked through,
I don't know.
Maybe she lost it. Or yes, I absolutely took it. Because I want coppery-fake gold and 40+ year old earrings. I totally want that.
What is fake gold worth, anyway? $.25 to the dollar? Yes, I can get some good ol' Ramen for that price.

She claims she has no money and yet I see Panda Express boxes and Carls Jr in her car.
(Or buried in the trash can as if she tries to hide it)

As time goes on I find that I have less and less respect for her.
Do you know what she said to me last night? "F*** you, b****!"
I cannot trust her. I will never trust her.
She lies, she takes notes on me.
She is not punctual, but will blame me if she is late.

When I came out here I tried to be as compassionate as I could.
Y'know, with her throwing tantrums like Sterling and all
After she dumped us off in Florida with no warning once-so-ever I realized she did not care.
We did not have much of a relationship in Lancaster... for the most part I remember me and Elise schooling ourselves. She was there, of course, in the mornings. Telling us to clean, giving us an Agenda for the day. That was it.
That was it
Now, when I cry or want to be left alone I am an "ungrateful child" "b****" or "there is something wrong with you"
And the most famous line "Your father doesn't have to deal with this! He's out in Miami f***ing his 3-dollar *****s! Pesos are worthless here! He makes 100k a year he has a mansion out there in Brazil living the life sipping c***tails and not having to deal with you!"
Every. Single. Argument.
I'll try to hook a microphone to this computer so you can hear it.
Don't believe me. I got this all on Jerry Springer. Check the recordings on my phone.

Do you know how she placed me in the Special Ed class?
She bold-faced lied.
She claimed I hit my head on the walls, I had a facination with mirrors (I admit, I do, who can resist this face? haha), that I spun in circles and I refused to do anything out of order
She said I broke things, I stood on the counter, she even stooped so slow as to say I play with the cats' fecal matter
How do I know? The thereapist told me.
Y'know what else?
I was there, it was a phone conference and she was on speaker.
Mrs Bullock asked if she wanted me to participate in classes next year,
She said "Yes"
She promised she would pull me out if things didn't work out.
Well, between the Special Ed teacher visiting and staring me down in other classes
Being jumped by a group of girls who stole my backpack and everything inside it (The backpack was returned.. can't say for my homework, pens, or anything at all. They even took the folders)
Or teased because I'm in the "weirdo class" or "being a Special kid" and kids teasing me for just about anything
"Why do you write with blue ink?" "Why do you write with black ink?" "Why are you writing with a led pencil?"
"Is that why your teeth are f*cked up? Every ED has bad teeth".
"Is that why you still wear Nikes from '08?"
And the Ed who stole my iPod (when I told mom, she just shrugged it off)
The school staff was useless and allowed the boy to go to PE before checking his backpack. Any common knowledge there?
I told the boy's mom. Know what she said? "He can't help it, I'm sorry. He has no reason to steal but he just does."

She told me she would take me out of the IEP. She didn't.

Stop telling me she loves me when she clearly does not.

today-
she said if she had a gun she would take us (me and my sister( out she doesnt want us

when she was on me she choked me she was holding my neck elsie tried to get her off me and i scratched her face she says if i call the cops she will lie she will tell them i attacked her and you know i would never hit anyone
she says she is said
i hate you b**** i hate you b**** i wish i had an abortion i hate you b**** i f***ing hate you i dont want you f*** you b**** f*** you i dont want you your an ignorant [censored] n****r your ugly thats why the boys dont want you your father doesnt even want you your f***ing stupid your a stupid ***** n****r i will got to the police station right now who do you think will go to jail you f***ing ignorant [censored] f*** you f*** fred he left me with his demon seed go ahead tell the police who do you think they will believe i will put you in a mental phacility i will lock you up in juvenille hall everytime i look in the mirror i will see this and think i hate that child i hate you b**** i hate you b**** your nasty going around throwing your p**** to boys nasty ugly *****

she doesnt love me i dont know what to do i cant go anywhere i cant stay here i dont know what im sorry please i dont know what to think she hates me