Hi, I'm a twenty seven year old Maine resident and I've always been a depressed person. Since I can remember I've always felt different. I think some of it may be related to sexual orientation issues and feeling alone and isolated throughout adolescence. I turned to drugs in my mid to late teens to take me out of myself. I was an IV heroin addict for a few years as well. Up until recently my life seemed to have been going okay. I still drink and use marijuana as they help alleviate some of the physical discomfort and emptiness, though I know its not healthy. Lately I have been overcome by feelings of worthlessness and sadness. How I'm basically detached from everything that created me (though not literally my parents) and I wonder where I'm at. What makes other people happy is scary to me. I am in a job that's going nowhere but it pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. I get scared that this is all there is and the only things I look forward to are beers and cigarettes. I have scheduled appointments for early next week to try and talk to some therapists and figure out what's going on but I'm scared. I just want some hope that at 27 I can start to discover who I really am. My whole life so far feels like a lie and I feel so strange. Please help. Its taking everything just to get through the day.