Over the last couple of days I find myself very sensitive to smells. I am having a hard time staying present. I am struggling with going back into time. Some are good times some are very bad times. I guess it is from the trauma of so many things going on at the same time; new teeth, insulin pump, problems with my day to day living.... sometimes I feel that I can't go another step. Or afraid of going another step, going out of the house, talking to people. I have wonderful things in my life, but I still feel a void. Alters not happy with me... cutting and not listening. Which brings me chaos. I feel I need to be some place safe, I need a break. I never wanted to be in a psych facility again. But I think I need tuning up, a respite...... But knowing my family dynamics and situations I know this is impossible. I will have to rely on T to help me through this. I have been trying to hide these feelings.... I just can't supress them any longer. The lack of sleep also is playing a major role.
Venting, Venting, Venting!