Dear T, I did part 1 of my assignment last night like I said I would. I think I've already gotten some good material to work with. Part 2 will be tonight. By the time we talk again on Tuesday evening I hope I will have my answer. after talking yesterday evening I think I already know what it is going to be. But I will complete the assignment before I tell you. I think the answer is going to be that I need to truly finally let you go and let our work together be done, as painful as that feels to admit. Because you can never be what in my heart of hearts I want you to be (the mommy that my little parts wish I had gotten!) I am just making things worse for myself by hanging onto you, and even more distressing to me than that, it is causing an end result of me stringing you along which is NOT what I ever intended to happen, I just can't make up my mind once and for all to let you go. But T that is what I need to do. I am crying as I write this and I don't know how in the world I am ever going to say this to you. Well I will complete the 5 part assignment and let you read it and it will speak for me.