if you are into a Dom/sub relationship you must have been abused some way in your past and that this is the only way you can get off because of it. If I tell people I am a submissive I immediately get the question were you ever abused. It's ********. You can have had a relatively normal upbringing with no abuse but still enjoy a little violence with your sex and giving up control. No it's not the only way I can get off either. I can most definitely make passionate love with my man and it doesn't have to involve any S&M. I can feel love deeply without pain just sometimes I choose to include pain and degradation. I seriously dislike the stereotype and stigma that goes along with the way I choose to express myself sexually.