Maybe allow more time - for yourself, and for her - for things to settle down. You've apologized. She stated that she does not want to speak to you. So - perhaps this is opportunity to respect her expression of her need for time/space. And you've written that you don't want to talk to her - so you want some space right now too. And you've written that you don't want to be without a family. And that you want to create a support system for yourself. This forum is a good spot to come to for some help. In terms of having people near you - is it possible for you to get involved in activities that are of interest to you - so you could meet more people?