New to the forum and probably haven't read enough posts. I'm not finding people who view their abuse the way I view mine. I'm and educated person and have a very comfortable life. I remember everything or nearly so i guess that happened in my childhood. Here is the thing though, nothing that happened was painful, forced, felt threatening, was stressful, I mean none of it. The sexual attention started when i was so young. Bathing at 4 years old is my first recollection. We had a water well for domestic water and a small water heater compared to today's standards so we bathed together. I was the only boy with four sisters that ranged from 1-1/2 years older to 10 years older, with a little sister 6 years younger than me. We lived in a tiny three bedroom house in the country. My sister nearest to my age and I shared a bedroom. The two middle sisters shared a bedroom and the little sister's bed was in mom and dad's room. My Father was the classic definition of a pedophile and I do not condone what he did. It is totally unacceptable in every aspect. But it wasn't traumatic. He groomed, guided, all of the things I've heard spoken of. I underwent therapy for this when I was in my twenties. Not because of some self hate, or traumatic memories. My problem is that I don't feel any of that. It was pleasurable and naughty but not traumatic. My therapist said it was natural to respond to sexual pleasure at very young ages. He also allowed that it was not required or necessary to hate the ones associated with that time in my life. All of my siblings grew to be successful professionals in various fields. We respectfully buried both parents so both the pedophile and the enabler are gone. My family was as normal as any other outside of all of the sex in our family. Are there others dealing feeling shame or guilt for not feeling shame and guilt?