Hi, maybe feeling good feels a little "wrong"/"out of place" to you or something's saying in you that you don't deserve to be happy, or it won't last anyway so you'll "step in there", maybe emotions are becoming overwhelming??
I'm NOT saying you need to feel like this at all but could those be possibilities?
Then again SI can sometimes be real addicting anyway, and an addiction is an addiction...........so........do you think?
Hang in there!!
Alison