I think my anger at T might have something to do with my friend dying. I haven't allowed myself to feel angry over the loss. In fact, I haven't really allowed myself to feel at all.

I also think the potential loss of my mother from her recent health issues is making me push T away.

Like, if I'm angry at T it will be easier for me to walk away...because why would I want to stay close to her when she'll probably just die too.