Thank you for the comment, Rose. I've looked into volunteering and have been meeting up with old friends to try and fill the space. I guess I'm scared and ashamed of what's happened and don't know how to relate to anyone over that. I don't know how to navigate this next stage or how to repair the relationship and I fear that just waiting even though I don't want to talk to her might work against me. I never wanted to ruin our relationship, I just wanted to be seen, and I didn't handle it very well.