It sounds like he is doing the best he can, for the kids' sake and the sake of your marriage now. I guess you have a choice - since you dont really know what is going to happen to the two of you after the kids grow up, you can either enjoy these next ten years together, or not. I dont see the point of holding a grudge - you just teach your kids that its okay to act like that, no matter who it hurts ie them. In which case, someday they may feel justified in holding a grudge against you. Thats what my mother taught me. Kids can see what is reasonable and what truly is not.