Hello everyone. First let me say how sorry I am to hear all of your stories of your grieving the loss of your loved ones to suicide. I know how hard it is to be going through such a traumatic ordeal. My name is Arielle and I am 25 years old. I have two beautiful daughters who give me the strength to keep moving forward everyday. On December16,2013 I became a widow after my husband of 6 years committed suicide. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life. I swear some days I don't even know how I have the strength to get out of bed, but then it hits me that my girls need me to be the strong mommy that they've always had. Between the grief and the guilt, it's really starting to takes it toll on me. I have never been more ready to give up then I am right now but that little bit of strength left in me, and those two sets of big brown eyes of my daughters won't let me do it. Before finding this site I really didn't know where to turn, because I am still on a waiting list for counseling. I have family and friends but it's like I don't want to be a nuisance and keep crying about the same thing to the same people. I've always been a shy and private person, so that may be another reason I find it hard talking to the people I know. Anyways I just want to say thank you to everyone who created this site and thank you to everyone who has joined this site. It feels good knowing that there are people who understands.