Wow sounds like you beat yourself up a lot I'm sorry it's rough. It definitely sounds a lot like depression but I would definitely suggest trying to find another counselor. Also, it seems like you've been looking into things that you used to find enjoyable--which is good that you've been searching but I would definitely suggest trying new things since some of them don't appeal right now.

Also, you are very smart (I got a 33 on my ACT haha) but at the same time, especially if you're feeling this way, I wouldn't suggest going to college right away. Maybe take a few courses at a community college and a part-time job until you can at least lessen some of your symptoms or resolve some of the guilt issues you have.

I'm currently in college and though my depression symptoms didn't flare up in high school, college is definitely a larger and more difficult version. But that doesn't mean it's more lonely. I've met a lot of great people that I am friends with and also admire but at the same time college puts to the test your own abilities to manage yourself. Which is partially why when depression hit, I crashed and burned really badly. And even though you seem to really find pleasure in food (which is a great thing because food is awesome) if showering and going to class become that hard close to finals man things will be rough.

Last thing I want to mention is that it seems to me that you are crazy hard on yourself. You can feel guilty about plenty of things but please don't feel bad about things that are out of your control (ethnicity, intelligence, etc). And also, you're only 18. I bet you feel much older but age-wise, you're just starting to really grow. So please be gentle with yourself! It's okay to take it a bit slower and really experience what life has in store for you.

I hope things start to look up soon and feel free to message me if you have any questions about college or anything else!