Are you certain you would never argue the same again if she did spank you one last time? I guess you need to explore this with your therapist and figure out why you feel you want this. Is it because you feel guilty that her spankingmnever realky worked on controlling your tantrums and you want to give her another shot, in some way apologize to her? Or do you feel you need to be punished that way bc you dont forgive yourself yet for everything and feel guilty bc how much you oove your mother?

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