What do you do when the closest people in your life are triggers? How do you learn to cope with the pain when you get turned away? When they disappoint you and aren't there for you? When they start to avoid you because of all the trouble you bring? How do you know when you're being unreasonable with your needs?

I'm shaking so hard right now and I don't know how to stop it or stop from feeling so awful or stop hurting other people or stop being hurt by people, unless I just never associate with humans again. But I crave closeness too much. I don't know how many friend-/relation-ships I'll create and destroy before I get better, if I ever get better.