Yeah, there's a ton of misunderstandings about BDSM. I get the other side of it. Because I'm a Dom I'm supposed to be a psychopath, or a violent person, or I should also have a dominant personality outside the relationship. What people don't see or understand is the level of trust and communication that goes into it, the deep focus and attentiveness it takes to know how far to push a soft limit, and the tenderness it takes to tie someone to a post and know that the restraints will hold them but not cut off circulation for the duration of the scene.

Kink is not abuse. It's not torture. Vanillas will never get it, so **** 'em.